Trust & Timbre... How Do You Roll?!

For more background on the origins
of the"over n' under" debate,
check out the History Channel
Back in 2011 we published our first book together called Timeout! To Retreat, Review & Renew which described how we developed and conducted our annual personal/professional strategic planning retreat.  One of the topics discussed in the book was the subject of building and maintaining trust with each other, which at it's core is, all about demonstrating respect for the other's views and concerns. 

What we realized was that active listening is a critical component of building trust with another because one cannot truly demonstrate respect for until we more beyond "hearing" and process the deeper concerns which are usually reflected in the tone and facial expressions. 

Ok, so by now you're probably asking, "what does that have to do with toilet paper?,"  actually quite a bit because early on in our relationship when we first moved in together - we held opposing views on how the toilet paper should be dispensed  - Phyl believed that it should be "under" ... Jer believed it should be "over!"  Hence the dispute, and the decades long dance of attempting to resolve the situation - without either having to capitulate their preference and perspective. Through trial and error we experimented with a variety of solutions: designating certain bathrooms in the house as "over" or "under" (Jer' got the man cave down in the rec room), placing the roll in a vertical dispenser and eventually installing a double roll dispenser in the master bathroom - one "over" the other "under." 


But it wasn't until after we sold our home and began housesitting around the country that we discovered a radically simple solution - a toilet roll dispenser that swiveled such that each of us could have it our way, over and under - without either comprising!

 We are confident that most of our readers have encountered the "over or under" debate sometimes during their life - and we're happy to share our recent revelation on how to address the situation in a much more collaborative way with your significant other - or at the office!  

Soo... we're curious to know... how do you roll... Over or Under?!


Comments

PHYLLIS CAMPAGNA said…
Who knew we'd discover this solution whilst housesitting?!?!
Dr Sam said…
We use the term outtie (over) or innie (under). Definitely an outtie!
David Brown said…
Dare I say, “over” seems more practical! Nonetheless the simple solution you stumbled on is genius. One game my wife and I learned recently is being a “fascinated anthropologist” and exploring with open curiosity. Of course that means letting go of being right. But would we rather be right or happy if forced to choose?!
Keep on trucking!
Lena said…
Lol! I roll with “over”. I tell my students there are many ways to solve a problem. There is usually more than one solution to a problem, and when you pick the best solution you can find, make sure it is safe an respectful one.
I like the swivel paper towel holder solution ;)
Phyl n' Jer said…
Sam, you have a lot of company! Still, I (Phyl) stand by 'innie!'
Phyl n' Jer said…
Lena, yes! Lots of solutions. And we loved the one we found, making everybody 'right!'